Thursday, February 28, 2013

Can I love my imperfection?

My new quest? Learning to love the things I hate! I mostly mean me. I need to learn to love me.

Flabby baby tummy, blah. Jiggly thighs, yuck. Seems like it's been a while since I've had perky breasts. Why hello second chin, why do you stick around? I remember thinking I wasn't that cute when I was 16 or 17. Now I see the error I made. Nothing jiggled, wiggled or sagged. I don't miss being 17 - but I do miss that body! Now here I sit at 33, I need to learn to LOVE me. My family does, my friends do now I need to show myself the same respect.

I have a gym membership that goes mostly unused. I mean, it's hard to bundle kids up in the snow & trudge out to the gym. I always feel foolish and clumsy while I am there. The other women in their cute gym clothes and perfect hair. I am lucky if I remember to put on a sports bra & actual shoes before I leave the house. I was in pretty good shape just before getting pregnant with Ophelia. Pregnancy and I don't get along well. Sure, I make pretty cute kids - but it's at the expense of my poor body! I am NOT one of those women who bounces back from pregnancy. You know the kind? Two weeks later & they are back in regular clothes and look fantastic! Yep - they exist and I envy them. I'm sure they work really hard at it too. I simply don't have that kind of self-control or dedication. I don't want an easy fix, but does it have to be so hard?

BUT, now my husband is home and life is just got that much easier. I am going to give this whole workout thing a shot. I need accountability, so I am putting it out there for everyone to read. I NEED to workout more. At least 3 days a week. Will you bug me about it? Will you annoy me until I just give in & go so you'll quit asking?

I'll be honest; I need to lose about 40 pounds. Yeah, 40! Uggg, why can't I just eat cheesecake all day and lose the weight? We live in a world where I can be in near-instant contact with everyone, I can pay my bills online, I can order stuff and it show up at my door a few days later. Can't we figure out a cheesecake diet? Ok, so maybe that's a few years off yet. A girl can dream, can't she? Since we're talking dreams...50 pounds would be even better!

Well, here goes! Tomorrow I am going to force myself to go to the gym! Call me, text me, email me, call me and BUG me until I tell you what class I took (I'm thinking I might try out this new aqua fit class my gym has).

Yeah, then next week I am going to work on eating less Nutella off a spoon! *sigh* Maybe.

God Bless from my imperfect mess....